Though it was hard for my mom to digest the fact that her younger son is gay, she was still listening and was trying to understand me, she had the fear of my future getting spoiled, she knew that I was doing engineering just for her sake, after knowing that i am gay , she realized that only i should decide & choose my career.
I was not happy studying engineering, she wanted me to be happy at least in my studies, she thought that sexuality is not in ones hands but one can choose over on ones education , so she advised me to think over it . Again I was in a dilemma, i approached my cousin to help me over this, he told me it’s your decision, you can go for the switch if you think it’s needed, then finally I decided to give up on engineering. I had made up my mind but the decision was yet to be implemented.
My mom told me to first discuss with my Sir but the Sir refused to help me and instead threatened me that he will make sure that i don’t get to leave this college, this discouraged me to an extend where I thought of not leaving engineering, but my mom again stood by me, we both went to the principal for a discussion, he asked ” if not engineering then what ? ” , I answered “mass media”, he was quite okay with my decision of leaving engineering but he advised ” you took your decision that’s okay but it’s important to know whether you are mature enough to take this decision or not ” so for that he counselled me, in my mind i was thinking, when I took the admission for engineering no one counselled me to know if i was mature enough but when I wanted to leave he wants to counsel me !! , but fortunately he told that I can leave but my academic fees won’t be refunded, this turned up to be a huge problem for my family.
Somehow I managed to convince my family, me & my mom went to the bank to inform them about my decision, the loan officer wasn’t happy as he too had many expectations from me, when he asked my mom why she wasn’t stopping me from doing so, my mom started crying, she had got emotional thinking about my sexuality but the officer thought she is crying because I’m leaving engineering, the officer became more unhappy and thought it to be shameful me being her son, in the end finally we managed to cancel the rest of the loan but the amount already paid to the college had to be repaid to the bank, finally i was happy to be out of the cage.
I am not blaming anyone for this, I am equally responsible as I couldn’t say NO at the very beginning, but parents should give their child the freedom of choosing one’s education because in the end the child is the one who has to carry the burden and deal with it !!!.